Which Way’s Up?

Congress passed the $789 billion stimulus bill today amiss pleas for expedience from Democrats and pleas for their mommies from Republicans.  But amid all the bellyaching and finger pointing the biggest losers in this bill were left silent: hookers.  Never has america seen a jackpot this big without a single dime going to hookers.  The world’s oldest profession is suffering as much, if not more, than any other.  The industry is hurting top to bottom, from high-class call girls to roadside hoochies.  Hedge fund managers, previously taking three to five “business lunches” a day just to relieve the stress of ruining average folks for personal gain, are now so pre-occupied with escaping prosecution that their lost wealth is not even resulting in the “trading-down” we’ve seen in other parts of the economy.  Under normal economic down turns we would expect that better managed, more streamlined and low-cost flesh “super stores” would flourish.  But instead, such big-box hooker havens have turned into barren waste lands of suburban pussy decay.  The hundreds of square miles of unpeermeable pavement alone can start a pussy typhoon in a hard rain.  This constitutes a clear and present danger not only to the frequenters of suburban ladies of the night, but to those living within 100 miles of the slowly crumbling big-box flesh factory.  

Candy searches desperately for clientele.

Something must be done.  And partisan politics is pre-occupied with mice habitats and condom give-aways.  Actually condom give aways would cut done on business expenses, so that might work.  But this only scratches the surface of the hooker crisis in this country.  The world is now systematically training a brainwashed army of hooker-killing children.  It’s bad enough that politicians have thumbed their noes at the hooker problem for centuries, meanwhile thumbing the anuses of hookers, but now the news breaks that they are training children to hunt and brutally kill hookers.  When will the world stop pushing away hookers with one hand and jerking off at the thought of them with the other!

whichwayisup Politics Hookers, Politics, Stimulus, Stupid