Which Way’s Up?

Despite his past mistakes, I was ready to give Bill Kristol a clean slate.  Let him forget about the immense blunder that was the Iraq War and focus on his poignant critique of Obama Administration.  My thinking being that perhaps he’s not that good at coming up with policies, but he is good at finding fault in other people’s policy (a common malidy of the right-wing press that is often helpful when the left gains control but a complete disaster when the right is in power).

But of course that was all shot to hell, because Bill Krisstol has a script and God help him he is sticking to it!  Exhibit A:

Never Allow a Democratic Administration To Go To Waste 

Opportunity knocks for Republicans. 

by William Kristol 

Weekly Standard 03/23/2009, Volume 014, Issue 26

Kristol, as always, starts with a back-handed compliment to the opposition.  Referring White House Chief-of-Staff Rahm Emanuel’s desire not to let a crisis go to waste, Kristol writes:

Emanuel deserves points for candor. But perhaps not for perspicacity. 

Candor is something Kristol was never that good at.  His way is better charecterized as muddle and fling poop, with a straight enough face that half the country thinks he’s a lunatic and the other half takes him at his word.  The following is his take on who REALLY wanted to invade Iraq - I’ll give you a hint it’s not neo-cons.

 

 

Kristol goes on to write that the opening stumbles of the Obama administration has left their image a bit scuffed up . . . but those Republicans are looking PRETTY good right about now:

Meanwhile, the GOP recovery program is going pretty well. Republicans have progressed from shell-shocked timidity through small-bore sniping and onto robust (and responsible) opposition. The GOP has shown itself able to stand up and counter Obama’s arguments. The Bush hangover seems to be proving less burdensome than expected, and some of the GOP’s members of Congress are turning out to be more presentable than suspected.

I believe this is the sort of shape-your-own-reality thinking that was the hallmark of the GOP going into the Iraq war.  The neo-con argument used to go: “we are mother-fucking American and we can mother-fucking do whatever we want.  AND more importantly whatever we want to happen will happen.  Mother-fucking America creates whatever reality it wants.  Mother-fucking America does not get bogged down in geo-political tensions, or local rivalries, or even cultural sensitivities.  We come in, we blow the place up, we rebuild it the way is should have been built the first time around.”

I bielive that argument has been boiled down to: “we didn’t have the troops to pull it off, but if had - OH BROTHER!”

What’s unsettling here is that Bill Kristol is not being optomistic about a Republican future, instead he’s cramming all the negative GOP press into, “shell-shocked timidity through small-bore sniping and onto robust (and responsible) opposition.”  

The election brought into office a candidate that ran on idea that EVERYTHING that was done the last 8 years needs to be completely overturned.  Whether or not that’s happening is another story, but he ran on that notion.  To not ask existential questions about the GOP feeds into the notion that the GOP has completely lost touch with what the people of America are asking for.  

And has stopped looking at approval ratings.

And has stopped watching the non-Fox news.

Moving forward . . . 

First, Obama is, for PR reasons and PR reasons only (and not very good PR reasons at that), committed to closing Guantánamo. GOP members of Congress can make clear just how dangerous the remaining Guantánamo detainees are, and how irresponsible are some of the proposals for sending them abroad or trying them in the criminal justice system. The GOP should seek the release of the Defense Department report on terrorist acts by some of the less dangerous detainees released from Guantánamo under the Bush administration. Republicans can seek to slow or reverse Obama’s decision, requiring that he certify that closing Guantánamo will not endanger American lives, providing funding for Guantánamo in the budget whether or not Obama wants it, and so forth. Lots of Democrats would have trouble opposing such efforts.

Polls will be helpful here, again.  Forty-four percent of Americans agree that Gitmo should be closed.  Not a deal breaker.  In fact, only 35 percent of American’s believe that the governement should fund family planning over seas, but that won’t stop Democrats from removing the “gag-rule.”

Moreover, the PR reasons Kristol scoffs at, are part and parcel of why terrorists have grown stronger under Bush.  The Islamic world doesn’t hate us because we like freedom and democracy and nearly-naked women in our magazines.  This is of course distasteful to them, but you will not find many Muslims joining the terrorist cause because of our life-style.  Instead the Islamic world hates us because of the ACTIONS OF OUR GOVERNMENT.  Including the BAD PR OVER GITMO.  Gallup illustrates this point.  In most of the nations of the Middle East surveyed the top three things the U.S. could do to improve their image are, 1) Pull out of Iraq, 2)Remove military bases from Saudi Arabia, 3) Close Gitmo

The top three U.S. actions to improve our PR in the middle-east and Kristol scoffs at it.  No amount of extra-judicial killings, imprisonment without trial, or invasions of sovereign nations will stop terrorism.  But good PR can and does cut the legs out from under terrorist recruitment.  And Kristol’s against it.  Is he wrong on every issue?  No it just seems that way, because he’s wrong on all the important ones.

Second, what’s now the rationale for discriminating against ROTC on elite college campuses? The “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy? Well, Obama is president and the Democrats control Congress. They can change that policy if they want to. 

Absolutely!  But I’m sure Kristol will come against a change in the policy when Obama decides to tackle it in his second term.

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To the delight of confirmed marxists and the dismay of “real” Americans, Obama issued his ambitious, proletarian-revolution-leading budget today.  Dropping all pretense that he is not a Soviet spy from the past sent here as a manchurian candidate to destroy America’s capitalist paradise, Obama included in his budget billions for the renovation of statue park  and the restoration and modernization of Comintern headquarters to include larger Comintern posters and a swiffer sweeper for Lenin (it cost billions because its globe-sized).  This will inevitable lead to a middle-American revolution with a Bobby Jindal inspired rallying cry: “Chemical Castration for all!”  The system simply was not built to handle this much change.

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Following President’s Obama ambitious outline of national priorities, the Republican response was delivered by Kenneth the Page - I mean Bobby Jindal.  In a stiff response delivered following a “something up my butt” walk up to the camera, Kenneth, I mean Bobby, made sure to touch on the important issues of the day - like don’t you think taxes are still too high and the left still thinks America sucks.  

In a response so disjoint from the President’s actual speech it seemed to have been recorded last week, Jindal clearly showed that people can’t trust the government because you know Bush fucked up Katrina.  He failed to mention that Bush fucked up the war too, but we still have to trust the government to take care of national defense.  Or maybe we shouldn’t.  The power of Jesus and the Magic of Capitalism will vanquish our enemies for us, Miss Lemon - I mean America.  

 

But let the main point be crystal clear, we can never trust the government to allow us to save our own friends from drownding, without getting insurance companies invloved.  Yeah, I don’t really get it either.  Anyhow, let’s buy up all the guns in the county and retreat to our bomb shelters.  Oh wait, no.  He advocated more tax cuts.  Shunning the old adage - fool me once shame on . . . shame on you . . . you can’t be fooled again - he retreated back to the old pool of solution on the right that has been drained out to the only popular solution left - paying off voters with tax cuts.  I can’t wait for more from Kenneth, er Bobby later.  

 

Jindal Responded

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Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal surveyed the sea of rising unemployment in his state and from a top his ivory tower extended a large middle finger in their general direction.  The thought bubble over his head read, “I see you suffering and I just don’t give a rats ass.”  But the words from his press release read:

The Governor said the state will not use a portion of the stimulus package that requires the state to change its law to expand unemployment insurance (UI) coverage to qualify for up to $32.8 million of the federal stimulus funding because it ultimately would result in a tax increase on Louisiana businesses. Qualifying for the $32.8 million provision is a precondition for being considered for another $65.6 million of federal unemployment insurance funds in the federal package, which would also require permanent changes to Louisiana law and additional annual spending.

He further adds that:

According to the Louisiana Workforce Commission (LWC), based on claims filed during 2008, the $32.8 million would run out in under three years and from that point on, the state would be required to pass along the cost of more than $12 million a year for supporting this expansion of benefits to Louisiana businesses.

So Bobby wants to turn down nearly $100 million dollars for the unemployed in Louisiana because in three years it could cost $12 million dollars a year to continue this expansion.  

Or Bobby could take the money and give it to the unemployed, thereby propping up private spending in his state for three years.  After which, if he deems it too expensive the benefits can return to their previous size and not require any increase in state taxes.

But instead Bobby’s turning down $100 million because in three years it could cost him $12 million.  Isn’t that a bit like turning down a bequeathment because you have to pay taxes on it?  Seems to me that Bobby is just looking to make some headlines, and has succeeded.  It’s good to see that there are still Republicans out there that are fiscally conservative enough to reject $100 million out of a possible $3 to 4 billion dollars in federal assistance (or 2 percent-ish).  And conservative enough to make sure it’s the most down trodden that pay the heaviest price.  It really does seem like a fresh face with fresh answers.  Against stem cell research, pro-life without exceptions, loves the PATRIOT Act, and always thinks tax cuts are the first and only solution.  Seems like the new GOP to me.

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