“Listen, what I meant was these people are the scum of the earth. If they show their faces, I will take it upon myself to murder them in the most brutal fashion. I have this book in my house about the Spanish Inquisition - I plan to throw it at them very hard . . . It’s a really big book. Then whatever page it opens to - I will read it to them start to finish. This of course will result in their not being able to stay awake. Which is my opportunity to find the nearest National Science Foundation porn addict. He will have his way with these dishonorable people. Really, I’m saying the only merciful way out for these AIG executives is to kill themselves. Otherwise, I am getting my pitchfork and torch and we will have old fashioned mob rule. That’ll take me back. DIE! DIE! DIE!”
Now excuse me, I have to get to my real job as a public access TV host:
You can’t get anything past the investigative journalism team over at Politico. While the rest of the nation was floored by the realization that Barack Obama was in fact a black man, POLITICO (which recently changed its name from Politico to POLITICO on the internet, presumably as an overture to the hard of hearing as well as foreigners) was deep into uncovering this mystery through out the campaign. It seems that Obama was sending secret coded messages to the black community that he was indeed one of them, all the while hiding his “blackness” to white America with extensive research and regurgitation of stuff white people like.
Reading through the official list of stuff white people is like reading through the obama campaign playbook. #1 is coffee. Search “Obama and Coffee” in google and you get 28 million results. Coincidence? I think not. In fact he followed the list so closely that he made it onto the list at #8 on January 19th 2008.
Having sealed up the white people endorsement, Obama proceeded to inform black people that he was indeed black. From POLITICO:
On matters of racial identity, many observers in the African-American community say he benefits from what’s known as “dog-whistle politics.” His language, mannerisms and symbols resonate deeply with his black supporters, even as the references largely sail over the heads of white audiences.
One of those references that sailed over the heads of white audiences was the color of Obama’s skin.
More from POLITICO (I apologize for shouting at you who are not hearing impared or foreigners):
John McWhorter, a linguist at the conservative Manhattan Institute, said that he believes that in Obama’s case coded messaging, which can be a matter of words, sound or grammar or all of them, is partly conscious because “he knows it arouses black audiences.”
“Black English, especially the cadence, is becoming America’s youth lingua franca, especially since the mainstreaming of hip-hop. Its sound conveys warmth, authenticity and a touch of seductive danger not only to blacks but many whites, especially ones below about 50,” McWhorter said. “Obama’s tapping into that cadence helped win him the election. Imagine John Kerry or Hillary Clinton saying, ‘Yes, we can!’ It would have sounded phony — only in what I call a ‘black-cent’ can it sound prophetic and arousing.”
And only in a “white-cent” can this not sound ridiculous:
Here are the secret messages spliced together. See if you can decipher what Obama’s really saying.
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