Which Way’s Up?

I have here in my hand a speech delivered before Congress, and on the campaign trail, and in Europe, on prime-time TV several times before the election. . .

President Obama’s speech to Congress last night has elicited praise from unlikely sources.  Dick Morris heaped plaudits on the speech by the dump truck full - by which I mean he refrained from calling Obama a socialist.  

WITH a speech to match the most eloquent os [sic] State of the Union Addresses, with strains of FDR and JFK and a touch of Winston Churchill thrown in, President Obama has clearly staked his presidency on the outcome of the economic crisis.

Really?  I was pretty sure his presidency was about socialism - you know the big brother, no freedom, socialism we were scared up to believe was his hidden agenda?  The “European Socialist” conspiracy that implicated Gordon Brown?  (starts around the 0:50 mark) 

Oh wait here it is:

Halfway through the speech, the president got to the minefields of Social Security and health-care reform. He avoided any specifics, but it’s clear that he plans to salvage the former with increases in the payroll tax and implement the latter by government rationing of health care. If you like your HMO, you’ll love Obama’s health plan.

That’s the same clues I picked up on.  Like when Obama said “Thank You Madame Speaker,”  it was clear that he plans to raise capital gains taxes, while trampling a bible.  

But really Dick, in that stimulus bill you hate so much - the major tax cut was a PAYROLL TAX CUT - so the little birdie that told you they are going up was just trying to make you look stupid.

More importantly, Dick’s pissed that his taxes may be on the way up:

And then Obama affirmed that he’ll support big tax increases on the richest 2 percent of American families. Disregarding the fact that these households already pay upward of half of all income taxes, while earning only a quarter of the national income, he has singled out the entrepreneurs, professionals, innovators and businesspeople of America for taxation.

Although I don’t see how he fits into those categories that Obama is singling out (I think professional wind bag needs to be added), Morris is seriously pissed that the top 2 percent ONLY earn 25 percent of the income.  Maybe this will cheer him up (Share of Net Worth, 2004, halfway down on the right).

Oh, but he won’t raise taxes until he’s had a few years to stimulate the economy. How many in that 2 percent feel like one of those huge hogs in the Chicago stockyards, being fattened up to slaughter the next year?

It’s the French Revolution all over again!  They did eat the aristocracy in the French Revolution, right?  

So all this is so scary to Dick because people voted for it, they expect Obama to follow through on his promises and he reaffirmed his commitment to those promises.  Right?

This speech will be viewed as his high-water mark - the time before we came to realize how flawed is his understanding of economics and how supreme is his commitment to expanded spending. It will be seen as a sort of age of innocence before we realized what he had in mind.

No, it is a secret socialist conspiracy after all!  Whew, I thought for a moment that this “center-right” country voted for an out-and-proud communist.  Good to hear that we were simply duped.

whichwayisup Politics Dick Morris, Economic Meltdown, Obama, Politics, Republicans, Stimulus

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal surveyed the sea of rising unemployment in his state and from a top his ivory tower extended a large middle finger in their general direction.  The thought bubble over his head read, “I see you suffering and I just don’t give a rats ass.”  But the words from his press release read:

The Governor said the state will not use a portion of the stimulus package that requires the state to change its law to expand unemployment insurance (UI) coverage to qualify for up to $32.8 million of the federal stimulus funding because it ultimately would result in a tax increase on Louisiana businesses. Qualifying for the $32.8 million provision is a precondition for being considered for another $65.6 million of federal unemployment insurance funds in the federal package, which would also require permanent changes to Louisiana law and additional annual spending.

He further adds that:

According to the Louisiana Workforce Commission (LWC), based on claims filed during 2008, the $32.8 million would run out in under three years and from that point on, the state would be required to pass along the cost of more than $12 million a year for supporting this expansion of benefits to Louisiana businesses.

So Bobby wants to turn down nearly $100 million dollars for the unemployed in Louisiana because in three years it could cost $12 million dollars a year to continue this expansion.  

Or Bobby could take the money and give it to the unemployed, thereby propping up private spending in his state for three years.  After which, if he deems it too expensive the benefits can return to their previous size and not require any increase in state taxes.

But instead Bobby’s turning down $100 million because in three years it could cost him $12 million.  Isn’t that a bit like turning down a bequeathment because you have to pay taxes on it?  Seems to me that Bobby is just looking to make some headlines, and has succeeded.  It’s good to see that there are still Republicans out there that are fiscally conservative enough to reject $100 million out of a possible $3 to 4 billion dollars in federal assistance (or 2 percent-ish).  And conservative enough to make sure it’s the most down trodden that pay the heaviest price.  It really does seem like a fresh face with fresh answers.  Against stem cell research, pro-life without exceptions, loves the PATRIOT Act, and always thinks tax cuts are the first and only solution.  Seems like the new GOP to me.

whichwayisup Politics 2012 elections, Bobby Jindal, fresh faces of the GOP, Republicans, Stimulus, the poor

Congress passed the $789 billion stimulus bill today amiss pleas for expedience from Democrats and pleas for their mommies from Republicans.  But amid all the bellyaching and finger pointing the biggest losers in this bill were left silent: hookers.  Never has america seen a jackpot this big without a single dime going to hookers.  The world’s oldest profession is suffering as much, if not more, than any other.  The industry is hurting top to bottom, from high-class call girls to roadside hoochies.  Hedge fund managers, previously taking three to five “business lunches” a day just to relieve the stress of ruining average folks for personal gain, are now so pre-occupied with escaping prosecution that their lost wealth is not even resulting in the “trading-down” we’ve seen in other parts of the economy.  Under normal economic down turns we would expect that better managed, more streamlined and low-cost flesh “super stores” would flourish.  But instead, such big-box hooker havens have turned into barren waste lands of suburban pussy decay.  The hundreds of square miles of unpeermeable pavement alone can start a pussy typhoon in a hard rain.  This constitutes a clear and present danger not only to the frequenters of suburban ladies of the night, but to those living within 100 miles of the slowly crumbling big-box flesh factory.  

Candy searches desperately for clientele.

Something must be done.  And partisan politics is pre-occupied with mice habitats and condom give-aways.  Actually condom give aways would cut done on business expenses, so that might work.  But this only scratches the surface of the hooker crisis in this country.  The world is now systematically training a brainwashed army of hooker-killing children.  It’s bad enough that politicians have thumbed their noes at the hooker problem for centuries, meanwhile thumbing the anuses of hookers, but now the news breaks that they are training children to hunt and brutally kill hookers.  When will the world stop pushing away hookers with one hand and jerking off at the thought of them with the other!

whichwayisup Politics Hookers, Politics, Stimulus, Stupid